This time our 1 on 1 smackdown is between Pecco Bananas and Jorge Martin, who might be team-mates next year. We compare and contrast them after their performances at Jerez, Spain.
Jerez
If you get drunk enough on the local fortified wine, you’ll mispronounce “Jerez” as “Sherry”. This is how sherry got its name. (That’s the last useful snippet of information you’ll get out of this article). The track is tight, twisty and nadgery. It’s far too nadgery for modern 300bhp MotoGP bikes, which is why the race was rubbish. Historically, the Jerez GP was only interesting if somebody annoying and Spanish got rammed in the last corner.
The Race
Pecco took a stunning victory, especially stunning as he’s had a horrible start to the year and was riding with a shoulder injury. He held off Fabio Quartarararo, who pushed him all the way.
Jorge Martin was classified 22nd after he lobbed the bike down the street then remounted.
Pecco vs Jorge
If rumours are true (which they always are) then this pair will be team-mates in the factory Ducati squad next year. So let’s take a look at the background of these whippersnappers.
Francesco Bagniaia is nicknamed Pecco because all Italians have silly nicknames that usually end in “o”. He’s from Turin, most famous for being the location of the classic Michael Caine movie “The Italian Job” and secondly for being the home of Fiat. Pecco is Valentino Rossi’s main protege now that Frankie Morbidelli inexplicably sucks. A former Moto2 champ, Pecco also gave Fabio Quartararararo a very close run for the MotoGP title last year, before crumbling like a Fiat car that’s been left out in the rain for 15 minutes.
Jorge Martin is nicknamed “The Marinator” because he likes to marinate his food in tasty sauces. He comes from Madrid. Coming from Madrid is a bizarre decision for any Spanish motorcycle racer to make because all Spanish motorcycle racers come from the vicinity of Barcelona or its island outpost, Mallorca. He’s a former Moto3 world champion.
Riding styles
Pecco has been groomed by Valentino Rossi at his Neverland ranch. This place was based on the legendary ranch of Kenny Roberts Senior, where the main activity is to ride around on dirt bikes to improve a rider’s bike control, and teach them how to ride injured after crashing dirt bikes. The main difference is that at Rossi’s ranch, people relax by sitting around sipping ridiculous, thimble-sized cups of espresso. At Kenny Senior’s place, people relax by firing 44 magnums at passers-by who look like they might be from the dang government. His Valentino-approved training means that Pecco is a hairy, unkempt and well-rounded rider. He’s fast and smooth, but can slide the bike and ram people if he has to, especially if they’re Marc Marquez.
Jorge Martin is a hard charger, whose main strategy is to marinate the rear tyre in gas, gas and more gas. In fact, The Marinator sends more gas to the rear than Uccio did the time he ate a catering-sized 5 kilogram tin of cannellini beans. This means that he’s very much the old school “rostrum or hay bales” type of rider. (Podium or air fence doesn’t have quite the same ring to it). Just like millenials can’t take a picture of gorgeous scenery without putting their stupid, mask-clad faces in the foreground, Jorge can’t pass a picturesque gravel trap without decorating it with about $90,000 worth of carbon fibre shards. After his monumental crash at Portimao last year that put him out of action for several months, The Marinator is one of the few current riders who can play X-ray Top Trumps with Cal Crutchlow and actually win a few rounds.
The 2022 Ducati
There’s no getting around the fact that Ducati have shot themselves in the foot yet again with their 2022 bike. With Eneo Bestiality kicking ass on his year-old machine, the 2022 bike looks terrible. In particular, it’s obviously a real cow to set up.
Pecco has dealt with this in the same way that Rossi did on the Ducati. By going really, really slowly until he figured it out. Unlike his mentor, it has taken Pecco less than 2 years to get the hang of it, as his dominant win at Jerez has shown.
The Marinator has also tackled the problem in his own way. By just jumping on and giving it maximum gas until it spits him off. He’s had 4 crashes in 6 races, but the Spanish youngster has been highly impressive in terms of speed.
The future
Pecco Bananas has his feet under the table at Ducati, who are always trying to find fast Italian riders, so his seat is safe for the foreseeable future. Last year he very nearly beat Fabio to the title. Now that the 2022 Ducati is showing signs of life, Pecco is one of this year’s title favourites too.
Jorge “The Marinator” Martin will certainly be on factory Ducati equipment next year as he is so damned quick. The question is whether they will put him in the factory team or leave him in the satellite Primark squad. Do they take someone who’s wickedly fast on this year’s bike but keeps crashing it? Or do they hire the brilliant Eneo Bestiality, who’s been outstanding this year on the old and well-sorted 2021 bike?