After about 20 weeks of none-stop racing MotoGP ended up at Sepang in Malaysia – a favourite of all the teams as it’s only ten minutes away from the International Airport.
But what about the racing? It was both interesting yet boring. Find out how:
The Bagnaia vs Martin duel
Interesting
The MotoGP championship is very interesting. A tense battle of who can fall off the least between Jorge Martin and Pecco Bagnaia that’s going to the wire.
With Malaysia being the penultimate round surely it was time for the gloves to come off and the fists to start flying?
Boring
Not really. Not helped by Bagnaia falling off yet again in the sprint race as he’d not had time to copy Jorge Martin’s settings.
“But wait” I hear the Dorna executives furiously yell. “What about the opening laps of the main race? That was some of the most exciting racing in recent MotoGP history!”
A low bar. However it’s true that Martin and Bagnaia did, for the first time in known history, start to race each other. This sent the TV commentators into meltdown as bodily fluids were squirted out of every greasy orifice.
“Who can call MotoGP boring?” was shrieked at us as the commentators lapped up the opening laps whilst patting themselves on their backs for finally being able to justify their jobs. But, like Bradley Smith’s hairline, it would all be over far too early. After the initial battle Jorge’s tyre pressures went up and his risk factor came down.
From that point on nothing happened. At all. If you overlook the first three laps then we were left with the dullest, beige pile of uninteresting spewage of the season. Eyelids never felt this heavy – not even at a Coldplay concert.
Marc Marquez
Interesting
The half-hated Spanish Antichrist more often than not causes some interest in a race. Whether it’s crudely charging through the pack after a terrible qualifying attempt or annoying the GP24 riders on his parts-bin special Marc Marquez is always good value. Better still the hostile yellow goons either hit euphoria when Marquez hits the gravel or they hit a bitter depression when Marquez hits the front.
Having qualified in a so-so second row position Marc told the world that this wasn’t going to be his weekend. Which is usually code for “this is going to be my weekend”. Better still we were being told that rain was on the way…
Boring
But nothing happened.
Marc finished third in the sprint upsetting nobody on track. No rams, no annoying tactics and no controversy. Where’s the fun in that?
In the main race (i.e. the one that dragged on for twice as long) Marquez was again minding his own business in third. Not fast enough to bother the leaders but fast enough not to get caught by anyone else. Then Marquez fell off.
The weather
Interesting
The weather in Malaysia can be more random than Miguel Oliveira at a Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle festival. So, knowing this, what better way for the TV commentators to drum up some fake excitement than telling us how bad the weather is going to be anytime now…
“It’s getting dark out there…”
“Surely rain’s coming, and when it does it’ll pour…”
“Jack Miller, Brad Binder and Marc Marquez will win by miles once it rains…”
“It’s gonna piss it down…”
Boring
But nothing happened.
It didn’t rain. There were a few water droplets in the air in the sprint race from the tears of the Rossi fans when Marquez pushed through to third but not even enough collective clean water to scare a Frenchman.
Yamaha’s revival
Interesting
Behind the scenes the dishonoured Yamaha corporation have been busying their noodles trying to fix their glorified R1 into a less embarrassing and outdated machine. And it’s working.
Yamaha’s main weakness, the ‘new rider friendly’ engine, is being continuously updated and it appears that the fruits of the wok are finally rising with a noticeable upturn in their usual downturned performances.
Meanwhile their top Frenchie Fab Fabio Quartarararo has been riding the nuts off the bike – only to run out of fuel or be skittled off by an ‘out of his depth’ Italian.
But at Sepang it all came together brilliantly. The combo saw the beret harbouring Yamaha rider finish 5th and 6th in the sprint and main races respectively. That’s like winning the Grand National on an octopus.
How was this possible?
Boring
We don’t know. As the TV producers more-or-less ignored this instead focusing on the none-battle for the lead.