Eight amazing Phillip Island facts you probably didn’t know!

Phillip Island is the greatest track on the MotoGP calendar – and possibly the greatest track in the world along with Oliver’s Mount in Scarborough UK.

But how well do you know this iconic and beautiful circuit?  Not well enough we predict!  So below are eight amazing Phillip Island facts that every die-hard fan should know.

How it all started

Phillip Island was named after a guy called ‘Phillip’ who found the land mass many years ago.  Legend has it that Phillip, or ‘Phillo’ to his mates, was out driving his Ute one night waiting for the alcohol intoxication to wear off.  It’s stated that through his blurred vision he spotted the Island and decided to swim over to it in just his underpants hoping there would be some native Aboriginals there that he could fight off and claim their land.  When he arrived though he found the island deserted of any intelligent life – which included himself.  However there were loads of washed up ship parts from all the mysterious wrecks from the nearby Bermuda Triangle.  The folklore concludes that it was with these very parts that Phillo began building the amazing racetrack we know today – starting with the bar.

Kangaroos

Phillip Island is full of all manner of strange animals and birds – a majority of which somehow comically find their way on to the track and are reduced to component level after being hit by motorsport vehicles.  A fan favourite, however, are Australia’s very own Kangaroos – that tend to mingle with the fans trackside.  Big, stupid looking and very aggressive they should always be approached with extreme caution.  The kangaroos can be dangerous too.

Sheep

Along with aggressive Kangaroos and lethal arachnids Phillip Island is also home to a fair few sheep!  In fact Australian farmers shepherd 79 million sheep!  Despite being slow, stupid and following each other around aimlessly these creatures are highly regarded down under – as are the sheep.

Ayers rock

Not situated at Phillip Island but in Australia is Ayers Rock – the world’s dullest tourist attraction.  Located somewhere daft like wuggawagga Australians will travel for days and days to gaze at this massive rock and be amazed by how it changes colours depending on how dark it is – blissfully unaware that all rocks everywhere do this.  Worse still Ayes rock isn’t technically a rock either.

Drinking

Australian men love to drink.  It’s predicted that more beer will be drunk over the weekend trackside at Phillip Island than the rest of the MotoGP races combined especially given that in Qatar alcohol is banned along with eating bacon – which probably explains why they’re always scrapping.

But why do the men down under drink so much?  Traditionally it was for medical reasons as it was believed that diluting your blood with alcohol would neutralise any venom from the abundance of horrifically deadly insects and snakes that pollute the land.  However it’s also been proven that extra alcohol in the system helps the average Aussie ‘knock their Sheila around’ a lot easier when she foolishly buys the wrong meat for the barbeque.

Stranger Things

In the hit Netflix series ‘Stranger Things’ the chirpy yet punchable kids from the 80’s mysteriously find a gateway to the ‘upside down’.  Despite its name the ‘upside down’ has nothing to do with Australia.  This place is full of aggressive primitive aggressors and hideous creatures where no one would actually want to visit.  The ‘Stranger Things ‘upside down’ place looks pretty bad too.

Bradley Smith

Because Australia is on the other side of the planet things are often upside down – it’s light when it should be dark, dark when it should be light and cars converted to pickup trucks are somehow popular.  However upside down it is ‘down under’ no one could possibly have thought in 2014 things would get so reversed that Bradley Smith could end up on the podium of a MotoGP race – but he did!

The result caused such a shock in the Academic world (i.e. not in Australia itself) that many professors feared the result could cause a split in the spacetime continuum bigger than the one in Lenny Kravitz’s pants that time his penis fell out on stage.  In the end everything was fine as Kravitz had a spare pair of strides.  Also the universe didn’t implode.

Casey Stoner

Casey Stoner is, without a doubt, the king of Phillip Island winning every MotoGP race from 2007 to 2012.  Despite retiring from MotoGP years ago with tiredness Stoner still has better odds of winning the race at Phillip Island this year than Luca Marina does.

The best part of Stoner’s reign though is how mad it makes die hard Rossi fans when its mentioned.


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Overrated

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