Pecco Bagnaia
This was Pecco’s big moment to jump ahead in the championship standings. Fit and at his home track in front of his home fans. What could go wrong?
Nothing in the sprint race as he coasted to victory. But it all went Bradley Smith in the main race as Bagnaia was unable to keep pace with the leaders and drifted backwards. The beard-clad champion pointed the finger at Michelin once again for providing him with a shite tyre – something that he said doesn’t ever happen when it happens to Jorge Martin.
However after 15 laps the tyre magically fixed itself and Pecco set about charging his way back towards the leaders. Then he fell off.
Sprint races
Okay we’ve had enough now. They’re clearly not working. This weekend’s sprint race rivalled the following day’s F1 parade for boring us to death.
Michelin
The French tyre manufacturers are a key reason why MotoGP is so mundane at the moment. Having used all their combined brain power from under their jauntily angled berets to create a superb rear MotoGP tyre the quitting firm then hit the red wine and threw together a shambolic front tyre. The ‘merde de chien’ front has no grip and overheats at the first sign of hard work like a fat Mexican.
But fear not everyone – Michelin, the manufacturer that ruined it all, will save now us all!
Earlier in the week journalists were shown around Michelin’s new ‘3D printing’ tyre machine that can create tyres with an infinite amount of options – maybe even one that could stop the Lowes brothers from falling off. This manufacturing technique meant that MotoGP could have a decent front tyre in 2025…
Or not. Having tasted a new crate of red wine conveniently supplied by Ducati Corse Michelin changed their minds and decided to quit the idea of saving MotoGP in favour of doing nothing. Thanks guys.
Jorge Martin
Jorge will have left Italy pleased with the championship standings but not the race results.
In the first race the Spaniard was leading when he received a team text message on his dash that read “concentrate on the track and not reading messages”. This poorly advised message caused Martin to lose concentration to run wide and allow his hated rival Bagnaia through for the lead…and ultimately the win.
Meanwhile in race two Jorge was leading until the very last lap before Enea Bastianini did a ‘Marquez’ on him denying him the win. Having spent the remainder of the lap shaking his head so much he wore down his helmet lining a frustrated Jorge then performed a rude gesture over the finish line – or we think it was rude as no one actually knows what it means.
Rules
Who needs rules? Well Jorge Martin clearly.
Enea Bastianini’s last lap overtake on Jorge Martin to win the race was technically illegal. La Bastard’s victorious move meant he also ran off the track which should have resulted in a penalty being applied. But it wasn’t. Why? Numerous reasons, including:
- It was funny
- It was exciting
- It made the championship closer
- It stopped the fans crying
- Marc Marquez said it was illegal, so always do the opposite to what he says
So in the end the stewards, who were keen to get a flyer to beat the traffic, said the pass was fine and that the Martinator should pipe down.
World Superbikes
Also in the same region this weekend was World Superbikes. The cast-off brigade were at the Crematorium Circuit just up the road from Misano racing around a carpark marked out with traffic cones.
Never one to shy away from looking amateurish the opening World Superbike race was red flagged and called a result when a clumsy media operative tripped over the main HDMI cable cutting all camera feeds to the racing. After several painful minutes of being subjected to pit box footage and people eating sandwiches the organisers were forced to red flag the race – and because it was over two thirds distance declare the result.
Cue lots of annoyed Italians waving their arms around.
The idiot who puts fuel in the Yamaha
Up until the last lap of the main race Fabio Quartarararararo was running fifth in the race. That’s like leading the Tour de France on a tricycle made from turkey bones and pipe cleaners.
Sadly his amazing result was cut short when his super slow Yamaha proved it could go even slower by running out of fuel. The Frenchman didn’t deserve that – despite being French.
Moreover the fuel-failure allowed Franky Morbidelli to sail past and claim an extra position to make his abysmal result look less abysmal.