As everyone in Italy will tell you Marc Marquez is a dirty cheat. Even the Pope doesn’t like him very much.
So we at MGPN have put our investigation hats on and, with the help of an anonymous fan club, dug up some uncomfortable truths that prove, beyond any reason, that Marc’s victory in Aragon was done so by cheating.
Superior Tyres
Official data showed that at certain corners of the Aragon circuit Marquez had a significant lean angle advantage over his rivals. This could have only been possible with having better tyres than everyone else.
If history has taught us anything it’s that Michelin know how to produce a ‘one off’ special tyre for one rider when it suits them.
Dodgy tyres
Speaking of tyres, it was somewhat predictable that not only would Marquez receive a tyre that gave him superior performance but Bagnaia was ‘awarded’ a terrible one that ruined his sprint race.
This wasn’t a coincidence – unlike the dodgy tyre Jorge Martin got in Valencia that cost him the title when battling Pecco. Not like that at all.
Dorna
A Spanish owned company wanting a Spanish rider to win in Spain? What are the odds on that? All three? Seems far too coincidental to us.
The bottom line is it’s fair to presume that the MotoGP owners had a significant say in the outcome of this race ensuring that their ‘favoured son’ ended his winless streak.
Furthermore, all the fanfare and fake cheering helped hide the fact that the race was absolutely, horrifically dull. Which it really was.
Dirty grid
It escaped no one’s attention that at Aragon one side of the grid was clean and the other side dirty. And guess what? Marc conveniently qualified on pole. The Spaniard hasn’t claimed a pole all season and suddenly, here, he suspiciously gets one. Why now?
The answer is that his side of the grid was clean whereas the side Bagnaia was forced to start on was dirtier than a tramp’s anus scab. Pecco asked Dorna (Spanish owned) if the start grid could be cleaned but was told to sling his beard.
This cost Bagnaia victory in both races as he’s a rider that likes to get out in front and use the massive speed advantage that Ducati has to fend off any attacks – and not mix it with the poor riders.
Cloud seeding
For such a dry place Aragon saw a suspicious amount of rain over the weekend. And each time it rained it made the track ‘green’ meaning skill was required and not motorcycle advantage.
Cloud seeding, a type of weather modification that changes the amount of rain, was clearly being used to give Marquez an unfair advantage by not allowing him to suffer from his usual unfair-disadvantage.
Alex Marquez
It was obvious to all that after being penalised on the grid Pecco Bagnaia was carving his way through the field and heading for victory just like his mentor would have done. Sadly though the Italian then had to deal with the cheating Marquez DNA – this time in the guise of Marc’s underachieving brother Alex.
Having been cleanly overtaken by Bagnaia for third place the lesser-brother brutally rammed off the World Champion halting his inevitable progress to the top step of the podium.
Bagnaia said afterwards that Alex ‘tried to kill him’ which is all the evidence we need. Even Marco Bezzecchi, who definitely doesn’t have a beef with the Marquez family and an affiliation with the VR46 camp, chirped up and said Alex did it on purpose.
We believe Alex and Marc where able to communicate using one of those cheap helmet Bluetooth headsets you can buy from Amazon. This allowed Marc to talk Alex real-time through the finer nuances of ramming someone off.
Shoulder
A few years ago, Marc had an operation that rotated his right humerus 30 degrees anticlockwise in what we were told was corrective surgery. But guess what? Aragon is an anticlockwise track! Basically the dishonest Spaniard had surgery that gives his right arm a 30 degree advantage at Aragon over the none-cheating riders.
Basically Marquez has had unnecessary surgery to change his body and give him an unfair advantage over the rest of the field.
Drugs
Remember, through the tears, seeing Marc’s cringeworthy dance in front of all the paid actors in the Marquez stand? That was because he was probably taking performance enhancing drugs.
The dad dancing may not have seemed suspicious but what was probably happening was that the dishonest Antichrist was using the jigging to slide out the unused pills down the legs of his leathers and into the soil before he reached parc ferme. After he left his cronies simply collected the pills and discarded them into a village paella or something.
Marquez family
With Marc and Alex clearly cheating, as proven above, it stands to reason that their father Julià was probably up to skullduggery as well. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…or in this case the tree doesn’t grow far from the fallen rotten apples.
We’re not exactly sure what Julià was doing but you can bet your bottom chorizo it involved hindering the glorious VR46 riders and staff.