Winners
Maverick Vinales
Earlier in the week we had a solar eclipse – a rare event that usually leaves all witnessing it gasping at its incredulity. However the rarity, gasps and incredibility pale into insignificance compared to the massively infrequent event of Maverick Vinales having two successful races back-to-back. And not just ‘slightly successful’…but actual race wins. Scientists at MGPN Towers have likened the odds of that happening to finding two people who like Jorge Lorenzo being in the same room.
But, against all odds, win Mav did. And he also had a Batman theme going on for unknown reasons.
Before the weekend there were mumblings that the bipolar Spaniard was set to be replaced at Aprilia with Jorge ‘The Jorginator’ Martin. But after the weekend all those rumours disappeared and instead fingers were pointed at Aleix Asparagus.
Vinales also became the first rider to win a MotoGP race with three different manufacturers. He’d already won two-and-half races with three manufacturers but this was the donkey-flavoured cherry on top of the cake.
We at MGPN make no secret about loving Vinales. Any rider who gets angry enough to try to break a bike he’s still riding is okay in our book.
Pedro Acosta
The cheeky stoat was at it again – making nests in the pitbox ventilation system, stealing food and being absolutely awesome on the track. Such was his brilliance that Neil Hodgson had to change his trousers three times during the commentary and left an aggravated Michael Laverty who was inadvertently caught in the blast zone.
Acosta’s second place in the main race elevated him to an impressive fourth in the championship and top KTM rider.
Rossi fans
This weekend, along with the Sausagering, was the one that the bitter yellow army feared. Their hated nemesis Marc Marquez has been known as a COTA specialist and many believed this would be where the Spanish Antichrist would chalk up his first Ducati win.
The signs on Saturday certainly didn’t help. Marc, showing disregard to the other riders, finished second to Vinales in the sprint race…and thus ended as the top Ducati finisher.
Little sleep was had come Saturday night as the resentful collectives ran through the worst-case scenarios in their smooth brain. Maybe the best option would be to hide from the internet? It’s worked for the once-smug regular-posting Honda MotoGP fanboys who have weaselled away to pretend to be interested in F1. Maybe the Rossi fans could claim that they didn’t watch the race as MotoGP means nothing now that the Greatest GOAT of all time has gone?
Sunday afternoon, mid race, their nightmare was coming true. Marquez was leading. And looking good. With clenched fists and forehead veins throbbing they paced up and down only checking the TV momentarily before looking away in disgust.
But their day went from bad to brilliant in an instant. Marc suffered a brake issue that saw him crash out of the lead and within seconds thousands of yellow clad morons cheered and hit the internet to post their opinions.
It didn’t matter that it was a mechanical failure. The only failure was Marquez. Best Sunday ever.
Maverick Vinales
Yes, yes. We know we’ve already done Mav. But c’mon. Let’s enjoy the moment while it lasts.
Losers
Family Binder
Sadly it was apartheid misery for the Binder household in America.
First ‘Divebomb’ Darryn continued to prove in the Moto2 race that he can be terrible in any discipline by falling off, again, whilst somewhere unimpressive. The only saving grace so far this season for poor Darryn is that he still leads his bitter rival Jake ‘this is my year’ Dixon in the championship. Currently Darryn has amassed a heady 1 point and Jake has zero.
Onto the not-terrible Binder brother Brad. Remember when Brad was KTM’s great white hope? Well those days have gone like a looted flatscreen TV in Johannesburg.
The South African was average all weekend. In the past this wouldn’t have been an issue as he had Jack Miller as a teammate – but the easy ride sank at the beginning of the season with the appearance of Pedro Acosta.
As documented above the stoat was again sensational…and 13 seconds ahead of the elder Binder brother.
There was a time when the army of Brad fans would pollute the internet like a ‘smog of stupidity’ yelling that their rider would be a 40 times MotoGP world champion by now if he’d had a Ducati. Predictably the chelping has all but disappeared…a bit like that looted TV.
Honda
This was Honda’s worst ever MotoGP weekend – which is impressive given their long run of utterly horrifying weekends.
The evil lawnmower manufacturers saw all their bikes stuck to the bottom of the results like the proverbial unflushed turds. The only session where the four Hondas didn’t finish last was Q2…because they weren’t in it.
After the weekend Token Nakagami took to the press to vent his anger with the team. Think about that for a second – Nakagami, arguably the worse rider on the grid, actually called the bike rubbish. What an insult from a rider that it’s an insult to ever take an insult from.
Luckily HRC can pat themselves on the back knowing that their consistently dreadful. As they are in World Superbikes. And Indycar.
Francesco Bagnaia
Bagnaia’s usual plan of copying Jorge Martin’s sprint race settings doesn’t seem to be working this season. And he and the team have no idea why.
Has Martin got wise to it? Do the settings not translate well on the new bike? Or is Bagnaia back on the sauce again? Who knows? Funny to watch though.
Franco Morbidelli
Oh Christ…not this guy again…
To dodge the risk of unnecessary repetition let’s keep it short…
Started okay. Then slow. Then fell off. No points. Last in championship. Teammate first. World Superbike…blah…blah…blah.