Winners
Jorge Martin
A ‘Jorge’ win, whether it’s Martin or Lorenzo, is usually a flag-to-lights metronomic display of bike brilliance. This is a posh way of saying “boring”. And it was another boring win for Jorge Martin. Not that the Spaniard cares. He now leads the championship and will no doubt up his public beef for a factory bike for 2025.
Pedro Acosta
The lovable stoat was at it again in the Algarve this time weaselling his way up onto the podium in the main race. Pedro and his team were ecstatic with the result…the other KTM riders less so.
Maverick Vinales
Top Gun became the first ever MotoGP rider to win two and a half races with three different manufactures. Horrah for Mav! Surely this is the moment that he gels with Aprilia and the bipolar results end…
Losers
Maverick Vinales
Have we not learnt anything from the past decade? The balance of the universe was certainly not going to allow the fabric of space-time to be ‘torn a new one’ with Vinales having two great rides in two days. Such events would, no doubt, have the boffins at the Large Hadron Collider running around screaming with their arms in the air…probably.
So, having seen Mav win the sprint race and seeing him having a great main race, the universe threw a spanner into the works…or into his gearbox to be more precise.
Gearboxes really don’t ever break. But when they need to they do which led to Top Gun hitting the eject button without a parachute.
That’ll teach him to be consistent.
Francesco Bagnaia
A typical 2023 weekend for the tipsy Italian went like this:
- Lose to Jorge Martin in the sprint race and complain about a bad setup.
- Copy Jorge Martin’s set up
- Win main race.
So when Pecco led the sprint race all signs looked bad for the main event on Sunday. But in a comical mix-up of fortunes it was Jorge Martin who copied Bagnaia whilst the ‘terror of Ibiza’ struggled to keep up. So that wasn’t very good…but it was about to get a lot worse.
Step forward the greasy grin of the Spanish Antichrist Marc Marquez.
Marc had landed his first podium in the sprint race – which was good but not as good as we’d been told by Cal Crutchlow. In the closing stages of the main race a fading Bagnaia came under attack from a feisty Marquez who pulled a typical late-braking pass on the DUI Italian. Pecco, probably still annoyed that Acosta had done him over, then mistimed his cutback and ran into Marquez’s head causing both riders to fall into a disgruntled heap.
KTM riders
Who doesn’t love the 2024 rookie of the season Pedro Acosta? The other KTM riders – that’s who. They all want to punch his snout in.
The teenage stoat had the measure of his outgoing teammate Augusto Fernandez the very first time he tested the GASGAS Tech 3 machine. Sadly Augusto’s a goner.
But now, in just his second event, the lovable mustelid is beating the factory KTM riders who have far more experience on the bike and don’t have to search rodent burrows for food.
Brad Binder’s job is probably safe for now, but Jack Miller will be heading to WSBK at the end of the season because of this furry upstart.
Japan
The Land of the Rising Beansprout is struggling. They’ve been given the so-called “noodle concessions” to help them catch up but so far Yamaha and especially Honda have been rooted to the anus-end of the grid.
Portugal was just another embarrassment – as the bodies in Tokyo harbour add up.
Luca Marina
The Ducati Desmosedici is like autotune to a rap singer. It can make someone believe, through technical wizardry, that they’re brilliant…only for the reality to punch them in the eye-socket once it’s removed.
Last season Luca Marina said he deserved a factory ride and if Ducati didn’t give him it he’d look elsewhere. Big words from the least successful Ducati rider of 2023. So, with autotune on max, he moved to Honda believing he was the man…only to be left singing out of tune in front of millions of people. A bit like this guy…
At Portugal he was the slowest rider. Even including Nakagami. Time to call his brother…
Franco Morbidelli
When poor Franco was rubbish on the satellite Yamaha he had the excuse that it was a ‘satellite’ bike and not a factory one. So when poor Franco was then rubbish on the factory Yamaha he had the excuse that it was a Yamaha and not a Ducati. Now that poor Franco is rubbish on the best bike on the grid he’s scratching his bruised noggin for the next excuse.
Not helping is the fact his teammate is winning races and leading the championship.
Neither here or there
Miguel Oliveira
Home boy Miguel the Randon Number Generator (MRNG) riding for the Make Aprilia Great Again team was the crowd’s favourite at Portimo. Even if he did marry his sister. The Portuguese love him more than they love stealing a tourist’s wallet.
What Oliveira delivered was a 12th and a 9th…a result that made him blur into the background.