Knee Jerk 1: Acosta’s accent
Spanish part-stoat Pedro Acosta proved that he’s championship material by weaselling his way up the leaderboard to eventually finish a superb second. Having also topped the ‘rubbish riders and rookies’ MotoGP test a few days earlier it does look like Acosta is *****
However all this mustelidae brilliance comes at the heavy expense of the other KTM riders who failed to produce anything of note. Miller and Binder finished mid-order but the biggest casualty sadly was Pedro’s teammate Augusto Fernandez who finished almost 2 seconds behind the stoat-human fused rider.
🦵Knee jerk reaction:
Acosta will win the championship leaving the other KTM riders questioning their career choice.
Knee Jerk 2: Marquez’s bike has been ‘fixed’
After the Valencia test every journalist under the sun was clambering to tell us how amazing Marc Marquez was and how they’d always said he’d be champion (just like how some of them said that Marquez would never move to Ducati…before slyly deleting their posts and claiming they’d never said that).
All the noise and superlatives probably spooked both the other Ducati riders and Ducati themselves with all parties understanding that a Marc Marquez championship would be massively embarrassing. So what better way to slow the Antichrist down than to make sure his Ducati, and only his Ducati, has a random series of unrelated technical issues? And that’s exactly what happened.
Then in the afternoon Marc fell off…but this probably had nothing to do with Ducati’s skullduggery. However Marquez needs to be careful as no spare parts will be coming his way quickly. Added to that he’s officially at the bottom of the ‘new parts’ list too. Even Stefano, the guy who’s in charge of washing the staff uniforms and decrusting the toilets, is predicted to receive parts for his mate’s 1994 600 Supersport before Marc gets a look at anything new.
🦵Knee jerk reaction:
Scared Ducati are remotely engineering problems with Marc’s bike to hinder his progress.
Knee Jerk 3: Bagnaia’s finished
Francesco Bagnaia is a rider that traditionally likes to build up his speed throughout the weekend…especially in Ibiza. So it’s no surprise to see the beard-shod Italian finishing the first day in 11th place as he was probably working through settings and getting used to the new 2024 bike. But where’s the fun in that?
🦵Knee jerk reaction:
Bagnaia can’t handle the increasing pressure of his rivals and is falling to pieces like an Alfa-Romeo Arna