Winner
Francesco Bagnaia
After a nervy sprint race the pressure was really on Bagnaia to perform. No one wanted him to win – especially the donkey-beating crowd who had already suffered seeing their world champion countrymen in Moto2 and Moto3 ride terribly.
Our tea hadn’t even gone cold or our biscuit finished before Pecco’s rival, Jorge Martin, ended the intrigue my crashing into Marc Marquez…who himself had momentarily stopped crashing into other riders.
And that was it. Championship number 2 in the bag.
Losers
Johann Zarco
Zarco’s numbers always add up to 100%. I.e., he lacks the final 5% 95% of the time. Today was no exception. Had the speed to win, but not the last 5% to do it.
Brad Binder
Clear leader after a handful of laps and looked set to give KTM its first win of the season…right up until Brad, possibly remembering a drunken time with a giraffe in the bush, inexplicably gave himself a long lap penalty. The confusing forfeit dropped Binder back and out of the race contention.
Jack Miller
…but don’t worry KTM as Jack Miller now leads the race! And, given by all the saliva-gushing praise been hurled at us by the English-speaking commentators, he’s the best thing ever.
Then Jack fell off. Again.
Enea Bastianini
Fell off or something. Remember when we thought he was back?
Marc Márquez
Ended his time at Honda how the bike would have wanted – smashed to bits in the gravel. And it wasn’t even his fault. Unless you ask Jorge Martin
Jorge Martín
Blew it not once but twice. Then blamed Marc Marquez for it.
Marco Bezzecchi
Remember when Marco was a title contender? No neither do we. Today he had a mega beef with Marquez instead…possibly knowing what’s coming next season.
Fabio Di Giannantonio
Could have easily won. But for the second time this weekend decided not to pass Bagnaia knowing his Ducati future is still undecided. Then, after the race, demoted off the podium due to the ‘Oxley ruling’.
Raul Fernández
Brilliant ride. But why now?
Álex Márquez
Shown up by his outgoing teammate once more. Something that he’ll now have to get used to.
Aleix Espargaró
Started the season as a healthy and likeable rider. Ended Valencia hobbling around with everyone spitting on him.
Luca Marini
Ducati’s 8th best rider this season. Well done.
Maverick Viñales
Qualified on pole but was demoted for something stupid in morning warm up…probably involving his father or taking the wrong medication. Had the pace the win the race, but not the ability. Again.
Fabio Quartarararararo
Terrible weekend for Quartarararararo – which he already knows he’s doomed to suffer again next year. But at least he can see Morbidelli on the best bike on the grid…that should cheer him up.
Takaaki Nakagami
Taka could have been removed from this race, and every other race this season, and no one would have ever noticed.
Lorenzo Savadori
Managed to run wide enough and often enough to get a track limits penalty whilst still been the slowest rider. Worst of both worlds.
Pol Espargaró
Ended his KTM rider time by falling off. Disappointing sign off.
Alex Rins
A sorry end to his season ended up in another crash. At least he has the honour of being the last Honda rider to win a race in our lifetime.