After another tedious MotoGP suckfest, it’s time to think outside the box to solve the front tyre problems. Even when riders overcome the idiotic aero to get close enough to pass the guy in front of them, they still can’t overtake. In fact they’ll probably crash as their front tyre has by then inflated to the size of a Sumo wrestler’s midriff.
The Problem
The aero bodywork on the front of current MotoGP bikes is boring, stupid, expensive, fun-destroying and inspired by F1. (Well, obviously if it’s inspired by F1 it’ll also be those other things). The Michelin front tyre can’t handle the downforce being put through it so the pressure increases and increases. Following another bike makes the tyre hotter so the pressure increases even further. Luckily there’s no need to worry about it popping though, as it will have lost all grip and spat the rider off long before that.
Things are even stupider now that people can be penalized for the tyre pressure being too low. What are riders supposed to do if their dashboard tells them that the front pressure isn’t high enough? Let somebody overtake them and ride really close behind to increase the pressure? Travel back in time and give the front tyre another couple stomps of the foot pump on the grid?
The only person caught by the daft new system in Italy was wildcard Dani Pedrosa. He couldn’t get any pressure into the tyre because he wasn’t close behind any other bikes and because he’s small. In fact Dani’s so small that he has to be careful walking across carpets in case he builds up a charge of static electricity and suddenly gets ripped off his feet and stuck to Marco Bezzecchi’s hair.
Why don’t Michelin just make a better tyre?
Because they’re French, so they’re far too busy drinking wine, shrugging, going on strike and being shot in the eyeballs with rubber bullets by the riot police.
Possible solutions
It’s time to think laterally and come up with alternative solutions. Pitlane engineers are discussing several ideas, so let’s talk hoop.
Using 2 front tyres
If a single front tyre can’t handle the stress, a fairly obvious solution is simply to use 2 of them.
Moving the front tyre further forward
Introducing a rule that says the front forks must be a minimum length of 2 metres long would move the front tyre far ahead of the aero wings. It would also get plenty of fresh, cooling air all the way out in front like that.
Having no tyres
It would be fairly trivial to turn MotoGP bikes into snowmobiles with front skis and rear tank tracks. The skis wouldn’t inflate due to downforce or closely following another snowmobile. Making the skis out of something like titanium would also produce a beautiful shower of sparks as they slid down the track at 220mph.
Bigger rear wings
The front aero could be balanced by having an enormous F1 wing on the back of the bike. This would keep the front tyre in the air most of the time, cooling it and reducing the pressure.
Watering the track
The water would keep the front tyre cool, and wet races are nearly always more interesting as they favour riders who are good at riding but rubbish at set-up, and also those who are good at riding but rubbish at signing for Ducati, Aprilia or KTM.
Conclusion
Any of these solutions would immediately fix the front tyre problems in MotoGP and bring back close racing. Of course, so would banning all this aero cack on safety grounds, which obviously should’ve happened several years ago.