The German GP at the Sausagering was the make-or-break weekend for Marquez and Honda. In the past Marc was unbeatable here with its tight and twisty nature giving the Spaniard plenty of opportunities to punt his rivals off.
Honda knew beforehand if they had any chance of retaining the Spaniard they’d need good results. Honda knew afterwards that they’d have to ‘do an F1’ and quit in a shower of shame.
So what went wrong? Let’s find out..
The middle finger
Marc usually tries to give off a ‘happy go lucky’ kind of vibe ignoring the torrent of death threats from bitter Rossi fans with a semi-evil looking smile. But the grin soon went in Germany as the Spaniard realised that his bike seemed to hate him more than the country of Italy.
In practice on day one his RC213V had it’s first attempt at killing him by sending him into a vicious tankslapper just as he entered the dauntingly fast Waterfall section. Uncharacteristically after the incident Marc gave the helmet facing camera on the bike the middle-finger signifying to Honda and his crew that some minor tweaks to the chassis may be required.
Wurst rating: Blutwurst
Five crashes
Marquez has always been known to ‘test the limits’ – i.e. see how far he can push the bike before he falls off. It’s a tactic that’s always served him and his surgeon well but at the Sausagering poor Marquez was just trying to stay upright yet looking to have all the balance of a drunk man on a canoe in the ocean.
Five crashes throughout the weekend was an impressive tally. And with each crash his mood and Honda’s chance of retaining him lowered.
Wurst rating: Leberwurst
Zarco crash
The Spanish antichrist is known for his outrageous manoeuvres that usually end with him and/or a rival(s) snapping bones in the gravel trap. After such incidents the internet is awash with bitter yellow gastropods screaming for a ban and a public beating.
His crash with Johann Zarco in practice was slightly different though as in this rare documented case the carnage wasn’t really Marc’s fault – more due to the nature of a track compressed into some Kraut’s back garden.
The typical carnage was still there though. A totally ugly and shocking wreck that saw poor Johann’s Ducati been smashed in half from under him in a shower of random carbon wings.
As Zarco lay injured in the gravel trap Marc simply walked passed the fallen Frenchman leaving him squirming around like a snail in a salt and garlic sauce. It was yet another indication of Marc’s bitterness and anger at the world.
Wurst rating: Frankfurter Würstchen
8th place
A few years Marc could have won at this track on a monkey powered *****. He was unbeatable. However, thanks to Honda providing him with the worst, steaming heap of two-wheeled nonsense since the Bimota V-Due, the ex-champion finished the sprint race a distant eighth. And never at any point looked threatening or even a danger to others. Not what we’ve come to expect.
His sullen face after the race made all localised sauerkraut to over ferment.
Wurst rating: Weisswurst
Broken finger
Having spent all weekend trying not to fall off then falling off the laws of percentages had to kick in (like that time Bradley Smith got a podium) and Marc had to get injured.
A broken finger was issued during the morning warm up on the Sunday after once again Marc was hurled off his RC213V. It could have been a lot worse given his chequered history of snapping off his shoulder or having his eye falling out. But still painful and depressing.
Wurst rating: Frankfurter Würstchen
Going home
Marc’s last crash in morning warmup was the straw that broke the donkey’s back…or his finger to be precise.
In the old days Marquez would have gaffer taped it up and got on with winning the race by a week or two. But not today. Honda’s inability to understand how to build a chassis (hence why in all other motorsports they only provide the engine) was enough for Marc to say adios and return home early.
He left behind a group of dishonoured looking Japanese engineers nervously wandering around looking down at their laptop screens hoping they wouldn’t be the next to be culled by the evil corporation.
Wurst rating: Knackwurst
Bonus insult
Just when Marc Marquez thought it was all over – step forward Jack Miller to turn the knife. After the race Jack, who’s shoe size is comfortably bigger than his IQ, stated the following:
“We’re [KTM] the only ones not complaining about our motorcycles and we’re actually trying to do something about it to fix it,” he began.
“All they do is throw their toys out of their cot and say ‘my bike is shit’. It’s simple as that.
“Why are they shit? Because they kicked 99% of their engineers to get his engineers, his guys in there, and now they’re f****d and he can’t even make it past a lap.
“So, it’s their own doing. Everyone wants to complain about their own bikes, nobody wants to do anything about it.
“Shut the f*** up and get one with the job. You’re paid to ride a motorcycle, not to be a f*****g princess and complain about your bike.”
Although not specifying Marc by name…everyone knew who he was talking about.
Being publicly insulted by a rider that was homeschooled by a pigeon probably was the last straw…
Wurst rating: Teewurst