Well I’ve done it. It was exactly a year ago that I proclaimed to the world, via my successful Twitter account, that I’d be identify as a journalist. Hell, if the white colonist whorebag JK Rowling can call herself an author then I have every right to claim as a journalist.
By ‘being’ a journalist it’s meant that it’s now a hate crime (the very worst crime – like a multi-murder on a single individual) not to address me as so. It’s good to know that walking around the paddock with my self-entitled smirk that I must be addressed as ‘journalist’ regardless of whether or not you think I’m a self-righteous tit with no actual motorcycling talent.
To honour my achievement Bud Light have sent me my very own personalised can of beer. Honestly I won’t ever drink this cheap piss-water but the point is that Budweiser understand the importance of my feelings and how being misidentified is unacceptable. 365 days of being something I’m not is quite an achievement – so I expect Bud Light shares will rocket.
Onto MotoGP. And from what I’ve seen, between my 8 meals a day, it’s been the usual outdated patriarchy and toxic masculinity running the show.
But one thing that really annoys me about MotoGP is the lack of inclusivity of obese riders. Apparently, according to ‘experts’ over 60% of adults in the western world are now overweight – yet MotoGP only employs white, cis-gender males that have an athletic build. What does that say to the children watching who may not have decided their weight yet? That being a fat twat is somehow clinically dangerous and they deserve to die?
As a person of girth (POG) I find when asked to lose weight it’s just some medical-bigot demanding I erase part of my identity. Would they ask Martin Luther King to carry a teabag around to look more British? Probably.
One good aspect to come out recently though is the Women’s own GP series – something that I was instrumental in creating. As we all know ‘gender’ is an outdated-system contrived by males to keep women from being equal. There’s absolutely no biological difference between males and females – except for trans people who were obviously born into the wrong sex.
So it’s great news that Dorna has listened to me, probably via my Twitter account (if I haven’t blocked them) and created a series free of mansplaining and toxic masculinity exclusively for women and people identifying as women. Like I said there’s no biological difference between the sexes so why shouldn’t us women have our own league? I expect big things from this championship – and if it fails it’s because of sexism and racism.
Okay, it’s time to get back to blocking the xenophobes on Twitter and then some Shaman pottery.
Seb P
Sebastian Piffleton is a completely fictional MotoGP journalist. When he’s not lording it up at MotoGP races he likes to spend his time virtue signalling and scanning the internet for things to pretend to be offended by. Sebastian has no motorcycle racing experience but acts like he does.