Which 3 movies can we tenuously link to the doings that transpired when MotoGP visited Texas? Let’s find out.
The Action
Movie: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
In an Australia even more post-apocalyptic than it is now (there wasn’t a nuclear war or anything, the Aussie government just collapsed civilization after over-reacting to something or other). Mad Max returned for the third time in the worst of his movies. Forced to team up with children who talk stupidly even by Australian standards, Max has to defeat Tina Turner, who is more or less playing herself. It’s not a terrible movie, but the obnoxious kids bring the action to a standstill in the desert.
Jack Miller has been brilliant this season, but his series of successes ground to a halt in Texas with a pointless crash that he couldn’t even make up a decent excuse for. Still, if he keeps following the Mad Max series he should return to form next time out.
The Drama
Movie: K-Pax
The ever-irritating Kevin Spacey plays a nutter in the loony bin who swears blind that he’s an alien even though he’s totally not. He even convinces his fellow lunatics of his alien status, which proves that he’s no alien ‘cos they’re as barking mad as a bunch of Rossi Muppets.
Prosecco Bananas used the COTA race to triple underline his non-alien status and cover it in pink highlighter pen, then draw arrows all around pointing at it. He’s quick enough on his day, riding by far the best bike of the grid and with all his rivals either out injured or spewing into their helmets. But MotoGP aliens just don’t get scared and fall off when a not very scary rider is following them. They beat them and damn them with faint praise in the press conference.
The Horror
Movie: Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Halloween is one of the best horror movies ever made, thanks to its escaped psychopath hero Michael Myers. But Halloween 3 doesn’t have Michael Myers in it. Not wanting to make a load of garbage sequels, John Carpenter decided the series should start having a new story every time out. Instead it’s the heart-warming tale of an Irish industrialist trying to kill all American children with haunted Halloween masks. This didn’t go down well with fans, so the sequels from Halloween 4 onwards have increasingly ludicrous reasons to bring back Michael even after he’s been exploded, shot 50 times with shotguns, fallen down a mineshaft, had his head chopped off and so on.
COTA was missing its escaped psychopath. Spanish antichrist Marc Marquez always wins in Texas. Not having #93 at COTA is like not having Michael Myers in a Halloween movie, it’s entertaining enough but it’s just not the same. Even if he has a terrible start he slays most of the field like Michael slaying babysitters. But he’s had his arm chopped off and stuck back on repeatedly. Has the Marc Marquez series been reduced to a series of rubbish sequels where he doesn’t win the title? Or can he pull a Halloween H20 out of the bag to at least make a show of it?