It’s the crash everyone’s talking about! But what really happened?
Luckily for us all King Frog is here to give us his frame-by-frame analysis of what actually transpired and how he’d have done it better.
“Already it’s clear what Marquez is doing wrong. Not leading like I would be! That said I was usually lapping slower riders like Aaron Slight and his chums on the first lap so let’s theoretically say I was in a similar situation – albeit one with a better haircut”
“Here you see Marquez clipping Jorge Martin’s leg. Not sure if Jorge’s related to Steve Martin – who I know for a fact failed to capitalise on having the best bike in WSBK in 2005 and 2006.”
“My keen eyes spot that somethings come off of a bike…or has it? I have it on good authority that Marc, like all semi-successful riders, likes to keep a copy of my autobiography on him at all times in case he’s ever lucky enough to meet me and I can sign it. I fear that it’s his copy of my book he’s dropped which explains why he’s now in panic mode.”
“This image reminds me of the differing styles of myself and a lesser rider like Troy Corser. I’d have such high corner speed that I could get my knee down on the straight whereas poor Troy struggled to adapt to anything harder than eating a burger.”
“Why’s Marquez looking down you ask? Well he’s using the Neil Hodgson technique of searching for loose change in the gravel trap to help fund his failed dream of owning a Post Office on the Isle of Man. I used to chip Neil 50p every now again – and although he was grateful for the extra money and the chance to meet his hero (me) he’d ultimately leave saddened at the thought of not being as successful or good looking as myself.”
“Having watched me and my impressive corner speed over the years sometimes it almost feels like the riders these days are just plodding around. And they are compared to me. But this gives you some idea of the average speeds these guys are running.
It looks almost as if Marquez is jumping high – possibly to avoid talking to Jamie Whitham. Although there was never an official competition it was generally assumed by all in the paddock that I could jump the highest. And furthest at the same time.”
“This reminds me of the time the paddock went on a surfing excursion in Australia. I was naturally the best. That said most of the other riders went straight home after they saw how manly I looked in a figure- hugging wetsuit.
I don’t think Neil even went in the sea that day – something about being scared of getting his hair wet.”
At this point I’d be thinking about saving this crash. Personally I’d just adapt my style to suit and resume my high corner speed style. I’d possibly lose a second or so in this incident but easily make it back up and more throughout the rest of the lap. But I guess they don’t make them like me anymore. Or before for that matter.
Now I’m not sure who the guy waving at the back of the screen is but I can guarantee he’s waving at me – like he did on my way to yet another double at Brands.
Here’s Marquez checking to see if Oliveira has a spare copy of my autobiography on him. I’m not sure I agree with this. He’s clearly in pain (although I’d have just walked if off…probably still setting a lap record and having a corner named after me)