What?
At the end of 2021, after winning the title with Fabio Quartararararo, the board at Yamaha made a profound decision regarding their MotoGP bike – ‘if it’s not broken – don’t fix it”. Or as the Japanese put it – ‘honourable oriental noodle that pleases Mount Fuji tiger need no more MSG”.
So whilst their rivals were busy updating their 2022 bikes with more powerful engines and random sticky-out bits the only sticky-out bits at Yamaha were in the pants of the engineers as they worked their way through their hentai manga box-sets.
But this relaxing tactic came to bite Yamaha back on their beansprout when the 2022 their bike became the laughingstock of the paddock due to its woeful lack of straight-line speed. Indeed so slow was the Yamaha that Dorna were forced to measure Franky Morbidelli’s lap times on a calendar.
Test trap
As the season began to fall to pieces faster than a Bimota 500 V2 for Fabio the likeable yet French rider was given a huge confidence boost at the Misano test in September. Quartararararo was testing the 2023 spec Yamaha and expecting the worst but instead found the new engine to be significantly more powerful in all areas than his current one. The French rider was seen randomly wandering the paddock after the test with a ‘bewildered yet ecstatic’ look on his usually downbeat face.
Sneaky sneaky
But was this a sneaky trick? As the test was unregulated, meaning the manufacturers could test whatever they wanted, it’s suggested that Yamaha deviously replaced the engine with an illegal yet vastly more powerful motor – possibly from their XMAX 125 range.
Why?
Yamaha knew the tide of the championship was changing – and as one ebb takes away the proverbial Biaggi toupee another one brings in some of Doohan’s lost knee cartilage. And by that we mean the mid-season rise-and-rise of the tipsy driver Pecco Bagnaia.
The Ducati rider was on a roll winning race after race and was rapidly becoming the title favourite despite once being 91 points off the lead. Yamaha, knowing his country’s attitude to pressure may result in him hiding in a haystack for 6 years like in ’39, knew that Fabio needed a motivation boost to help him defend his title. The feel-good factor of a much faster bike next season was their attempt to do this.
Did it work?
Yes and no. But mainly no. Quartarararo did indeed get a confidence boost from knowing a new, more-powerful motor was coming his way for 2023. But sadly all the confidence and upbeat feelings in the known universe couldn’t make his bike go any faster so inevitably he still lost the title to Bagnaia.
So what happened?
The day after the season ended all the teams began testing their official 2023 machines. Having just lost the title Fabio’s glum expression was about to be turned sadder than Zarco’s face when as a child he lost his favourite beret whilst visiting the Arc de Triomphe.
What poor Quartararararo found was that instead of a new, faster, less-dogshit engine his YZR-M1 was actually no different from this season’s heap. Indeed there were no speed differences at all in the official top-speed data released by Dorna.
All of which means Fabio looks like he’s been mugged off by Yamaha again.
Curveball Cal
But this isn’t quite where the story ends though. A week after the test had finished Yamaha test rider and multi-retiree Cal Crutchlow went on record to claim Yamaha have been ‘working harder than ever on the 2023 bike’.
This statement seems to be in direct contrast to what Quartarararo had said about the bike. So maybe there is still hope for Fabio in 2023?