It’s a trend that probably happened in the 90s. However unlike illegal raves and floppy haircuts the trend of a rider and his team all wearing matching t-shirts when he wins a championship gets stronger each year.
But what if it’s the final round and the championship has yet to be decided? In those cases both teams need to order in a batch of custom t-shirts in the hope that their rider wins. For the losing team they’re left with a box of tear-stained garments heading for the nearest Valencian skip along with Bradley Smith’s silverware polish.
This weekend sees just such a case with Ducati’s Pecco Bagnaia going up against Yamaha’s Fabio Quartarararararo in the final race of the year to decide the championship. Sadly though for the Frenchman the odds of him taking the championship are ‘eating disorder’ slim. For Fabio to succeed Quartararo needs to:
- Win the race on the shitty Yamaha
- Not get rammed off by all the Ducati minions (who are on a bonus to ram him off)
- Hope Bagnaia scores less than 3 points
So it’s probably not going to happen. But while ever Marc Marquez is half-fit and on a bike there’s always a glimmer of hope of some comical Italian-upsetting antics.
So, should Yamaha bother making 2022 championship t-shirts?
Yes
Given the money Yamaha saved this season by reducing their engine development budget (est. 0 USD) the oriental piano makers should have plenty of the green stuff to splash out on a load of t-shirts.
If, and when, Fabio doesn’t win the championship Yamaha could then sell the t-shirts on eBay and claw some money back not to put into next season’s engine development.
Maybe just one
With Yamaha cutting back this season on their engine development (est. 0 days) it’s understandable that other, arguably less significant, areas should also be cut down on too – like mass t-shirt printing. A bulk order would obviously give a lower unit price but a clever bit of Photoshopping could give the impression that everyone had a t-shirt and were all confident Quartarararo would do it. (They could even photoshop out the shocked expressions if there were time too)
Use last year’s t-shirts
We’ve all changed numbers on our school reports before – so we all know that changing a ‘1’ to a ‘2’ isn’t overly difficult. Simply digging out the old t-shirts and sneakily changing the text would be an easy plan. The best part is that the cost of this cunning ploy is the price of a decent sharpie…which coincidentally is exactly the cost of a sharpie more than Yamaha spent on their engine development this season.
No
Unfortunately Quartararararo needs to stop dreaming and start thinking about next year. A set of bespoke t-shirts with the optional noodle stain protection would probably cost around $200. (Or $20,000 according to Ducati’s dodgy tax submission). That $200 could be used more wisely – like adding it to boost Yamaha’s engine development budget which currently stands at $0.