Stocks in local A&E departments around the globe have leaped upwards with the shock news that gravel hermit Cal ‘Crutches’ Crutchlow is set to make a sensational return to MotoGP replacing the out-of-form Andrea Dovizioso.
How?
It’s been no secret that Andrea has been struggling to get to grips with the easy-to-get-to-grips-with Yamaha. It can’t be a secret as his terrible results will be available to view online until the end of our planet.
So far in 2022 Dovizioso has managed just 10 points with his best result being the 13th rider through the door for the safety commission in Germany regarding how much everyone hates Nakagami.
Why?
It was never supposed to be this way. Many, including Dovizioso himself, believed that his smooth riding style would suit the sweet handling Yamaha. And they did. The problem was that he was smooth and very slow. This was in no way helped by his RNF Racing team being pretty terrible.
Throughout the season Andrea has struggled to be anything but an embarrassment to himself possibly even rivalling Jorge Lorenzo’s humorous stint on the Honda. With that in mind the Italian decided to quit whilst he was behind and formally hand in his notice.
RNF Racing, however, insisted that the Italian work his notice period meaning he can’t quit the sport (and get the usual “#ThankyouAndrea” hashtags) until after the Misano race in September.
So what did he exactly say?
https://www.motogp.com/en/videos/2022/07/12/in-conversation-with-andrea-dovizioso/428893
In the interview the Italian suggested that having ridden for Yamaha back in 2012 there had been ‘profound changes’ to the bike…which seems odd given that hardly anything has changed in the past ten years. (Except the minor changes like capacity, tyres, electronics, performance, general technology etc).
Further into the interview Dovi claimed it he still sees the positive stating “The results were negative, but beyond that, I still consider it a very important life experience”. Obviously Andrea now knows that quitting when things get tough is always the best option and a tactic that served both King Edward VIII and Michael Jordan excellently.
Did Aprilia know he was rubbish?
One interesting aspect is that Aprilia already knew that Dovi had ‘lost it’ after the quitting Italian had a test with the team last year.
Although no official times were ever released many of the Italian engineers at the track noted that the test was ‘a complete waste of precious life’ and that the time could have been spent at home cuddling their mothers.
Realising that his pace was poor Andrea did ‘a Foggy’ and pointed the finger of blame at the Aprilia bike deciding that a Yamaha ride was the far better option for a ‘crack at the title’.
Why Cal Crutchlow?
Crutchlow, who loves MGPN so much he accidentally blocked us on Twitter, is Yamaha’s test rider. He was chosen by the Japanese firm due to his years of in-depth knowledge of how far to push a motorcycle before it loses traction and smashes into the scenery.
Given his knowledge, and the fact he raced the Yamaha MotoGP last season for two races, means Cal’s the perfect choice to replace the sluggish Dovizioso. Also, and some may argue more significantly, Yamaha had no one else to choose from*.
Wait, will Cal be teammates to Darryn Binder?
Scientists have often pondered that if putting the fundamental two crash magnets Darryn Binder and Cal Crutchlow in the same vicinity the resulting clash could easily result in the discovery of the elusive Higgs Boson particle.
However 2021 was a strange year. And nothing was more strange than the fact ‘Crutches’ rode in two MotoGP races (replacing the ‘injured’ Franky Morbidelli) and didn’t fall off once. This made him the least crashing rider of the year and strengthened the multiverse theory.
http://motogpnews.com/2021/12/16/what-was-the-weirdest-thing-about-2021/
Added to that Darryn has fallen off a lot less than everyone thought/hoped he would. Sure he’s still fallen off a lot, but not as much as we thought.
So maybe this once feared partnership won’t end in carbon fibre shards and broken bones.
*Apparently the deal was already finalised before Bradley Smith found out and could offer his services free of charge.