Winners
Aleix Espargaro
Remember laughing last year at Silverstone when Aleix foolishly said he was riding at a ‘top three’ level in the world? Well who’s laughing now? Us for one because we love him!
It’s been a long and painfully average ride for Aleix Espargaro with Aprilia. Since just after the creation of the universe, when our own star was yet to be formed, the Spanish rider was trying to develop the Aprilia. It was always good pre-season and we always said “this could be their year” whilst stifling a giggle knowing that it wouldn’t be.
But now it is. Espargaro and Aprilia are absolutely flying – something we can only put down to being a post COVID-19 symptom.
Onto the race and Aleix managed to do better than win.
How is that even possible? Have we been taking maths lessons from Miller?
Whilst in second place the Aprilia rider was hit by a falling Fabio Quartarararo on lap 2. The Yamaha rider was trying an optimistic move on Espargaro but slipped on the proverbial ‘wet croissant’ forcing the Spaniard into the gravel usually reserved for the crash happy British riders. But Aleix stayed up and re-joined in 15th place…and started the most epic comeback since we can be bothered remembering.
After re-joining Aleix went about setting the fastest lap times each and every lap carving his way through the field like Uccio through a butter mountain. The icing on the cake was a frankly ridiculous pass on both Jack Miller and Brad Binder into the final chicane on the last lap that elevated him to a mind-bending fourth place.
So why was this better than winning? Well not only did it show to Espargaro that he would have probably won if not for the crash but he clawed back 13 points on the championship leader Quartarararararo – something that he wouldn’t have probably done if both riders had not clashed.
Game on for the championship? With Freddie Spenser’s help maybe!
Maverick Vinales
Hands up who’s seen the new Top Gun film – Maverick? It has a paper-thin plot. And you miss loads trying to suss out how they made Tom Cruise less short looking…and less old looking. But it’s a great return to the limelight. Which, tenuously, leads us onto the other Maverick…
Like the film Vinales was once good, then forgotten about, laughed at and now has returned.
Last week the Spaniard was riding very well until the very technical elastic band that held-together Aprilia’s ride-height system snapped leaving his bike stuck lower than Bradley Smith’s appearance fee. Poor Mav was forced to retire.
But with a fresh packet of elastic bands from Poundland the Aprilia was up and running again and Top Gun was flying once more.
In the end Vinales managed a fine third place – his first podium for Aprilia…and only slightly overlooked because of his teammate’s result. It all bodes very will for Aprilia and both their riders.
Pecco Bagnaia
Poor Pecco won’t win the MotoGP world championship while ever he has a hole in his arse. However the Ducati rider is excellent at winning races when he’s not in contention for the title. Last year was the same, crashes and poor results for the first part of the season saw him miles behind Quartarararo in the standings. From that point he started winning…only to lose it again when he got close to the lead.
It’s the same this season. Bagnaia was the title favourite after a splendid pre-season and so was keen to prove everyone wrong and to show the world he’s the type of guy that hates pressure. His crash last week was the final chicken dipper in the Italian’s spaghetti and everyone wrote him off for the title.
All this meant that with no pressure Pecco could start winning races again without his nerve folding along with his front wheel…followed by a ‘I have no idea what happened, honest’ quote.
The victory at Assen was a well controlled win. With Fabio and Aleix taken out of the running early doors Bagnaia just needed to count off the laps and not make any mistakes.
The only issue now is does the win put Bagnaia back in the title hunt? He and Ducati really hope not.
Marco Bezzecchi
It was a brilliant day for the VR46 Neverland Ranch riders as MotoGP rookie noob Marco Bezzecchi finished a spectacular second behind Bagnaia.
There’s not much else to say. A great ride from a great rider. But if he keeps this up he’ll have to have his bike tuned down by the orders of Valentino Rossi.
Losers
Fabio Quartararararo
The crash that took him out of the race was the first mistake for the angry Frenchman this season. But it was a pure error without any malice.
Luckily for the championship Freddie Spenser was on hand to see it differently and award Fabio a long lap penalty for the next race for being so reckless. Shame he wasn’t riding a Honda.
Yamaha
Let’s review their riders:
- Fabio Quartararararo
Made a rare mistake and fell off. Got back on and then fell off again.
- Andrea Dovizioso
Yamaha’s top finisher – albeit half a minute behind the winner and out of the points. Dovi’s set to retire at the end of the year…which will probably change very little results wise.
- Darryn Binder
Fell off. Again. This time though he smashed his bike up so badly it had to be swept up by the track janitor.
- Franco Morbidelli
Probably the worst ride by any rider all season. Morbidelli was given a long lap penalty for coasting on the racing line in FP2. The Italian argued that that was as fast as he can now go but the penalty stuck.
In the race he forgot to take his long lap penalty so was given another one. To crown his horrific weekend he then fell off joining the track after taking his long lap.
Honda
For the race both Repsol Honda riders were off injured thanks to the bike that hates the world. Meanwhile Stefan Bradl was Stefan Bradl which unfortunately meant only Takaaki Nakagami could uphold the honour of the once great, always evil Japanese manufacturer. Taka finish 12th…or something. I can’t be bothered looking it up – but it wasn’t worth noting.
Raul Fernandez
Raul hates MotoGP. He also hates riding the KTM. He probably even hates rainbows at the moment. All of which means he has a face like a Genshin Impact enemy.
In the race Fernandez pulled in as the arm that he’s been punching his pitbox with was hurting. He thought about riding through the pain but then didn’t.