Upstart Enea Bastianini has been awarded a 2022 fairing for his 2021 Ducati as recognition for his great start to the season.
The Italian, who has the nickname “the bastard” – mainly used by Jack Miller, trialled the new fairing in testing at Jerez earlier this week and was said to be ‘perfectly happy with it’ – which is technical jargon for ‘couldn’t really tell the difference but I want new stuff’.
“Ducati continually update our more rubbish bikes with the latest parts throughout the season” explained an Italian when asked why they were giving Bastianini new bits “Once Enea is happy with the new fairing we’ll look at getting him one of those fake carbon stickers that sit on top of the yoke. We obviously prioritise all new components to the riders who are performing better – so Luca Marini can expect some new parts roughly the same time as when we successfully colonise the moon.”
Initially there was said to be some concern that the new fairing may not fit the older 2021 bike. However the skilled Ducati technicians were able to find a huge piece of timber in a medical skip behind the Marquez motorhome and used it to ‘fine-tune’ the fairing until it fitted like a glove…albeit one with a lot of gaffer tape wrapped around it.
The move to upgrade Bastianini’s bike may initially seem like a positive move however there are dark suggestions, possibly spread by Steve Parrish, that it may not be a blessing at all. The thought process is that Ducati are struggling with their 2022 machine and desperately do not want to be shown up by some young noob on the 2021 Desmosedici. By slyly replacing Enea’s good bits with 2022 spec ‘not so good’ bits it may slow him down enough to give Pecco Bagnaia a chance of catching him in the world standings.