Welcome back to our One on One smackdown series, where we contrast two riders after each race. This time out, we hold one last yard sale then load up our U-haul and drive to Texas, where we compare Jackass Miller with Fabio Quartarararo.
Texas? Yee-haa!
The Circuit of the Americas, like the Baseball World Series, showcases the sheer arrogance of the world’s greatest superpower with its name alone. Luckily it’s situated in one of the few states that merits such hubris. It’s a fast and physical circuit, and Marc Marquez always wins. Except when the bike’s electronics get confused and think that they’re being ridden by Alex Marquez so it won’t make any difference if he sets off with the pit lane speed limiter engaged.
Jack versus Fabio
These two aren’t exactly like peas in a pod. Apart from both being MotoGP riders, they haven’t much in common. Quartarararo is a world champion, while Jackass is almost a nearly-man, on his good days.
Moto2
Fabio was awful in Moto2. To his credit, he never uses being French as an excuse, although it is a major factor as Frenchmen usually start waving their arms around and burst into tears when things aren’t going their way.
Jackass wasn’t awful in Moto2. He wasn’t in Moto2 at all. For some ludicrous reason, he was plucked out of Moto3 and put straight onto the big bikes. This means that he has no need to waste any brainpower thinking up excuses for poor performances in the middle GP class.
Nationalities
The Aussies and the French aren’t on great terms right now. The Frogs are furious that the Convicts cancelled a big order for submarines. Nobody’s quite sure what the Aussies want submarines for, anyway. Patrolling the Great Barrier Reef to make sure nobody’s enjoying themselves, presumably.
The Race
Jack started brilliantly, led for many laps, then faded badly when it really mattered. He was outshadowed by the outstanding performance of race-winner Enea Bestiality on his old hand-me-down Ducati. Jack then got overtaken by an impressive Rins on the Suzuki and ended up in 3rd place.
This year’s Yamaha is arguably the worst bike on the grid. However, Fabio has been punching further above his weight than Loris Capirossi did in the marriage stakes. The Frenchman had a thrilling battle with Marc Marquez after the Spaniard managed to reboot his bike and overtake most of the field. Quartarararo couldn’t quite beat the cross-eyed bandit on the Honda, but he finished a crushing 23 seconds ahead of his formerly high-rated team mate Young Frankenstein Morbidelli. It might only have been a 7th place finish, but the only time a Frenchman’s head is held this high is usually when the executioner holds it up for the crowd to see after lopping it off with a guillotine.
The Future
After the race, Jack said that he isn’t bothered about losing his factory seat as he’d be fine back on the Primark Ducati. But why would Ducati want to hold on to a journeyman rider who doesn’t care about keeping his seat? The Bolognese factory have a huge roster of fast, hungry, young riders. (Plus Luca Marini, who’s there because he has a fast brother with a hungry friend and a young baby). Riders have to talk themselves up, it’s part of the game. If you start telling the truth about this kind of stuff you end up like Scott Redding, finishing 17th in World Superbike when you’re good enough to fight for MotoGP podiums.
Fabio’s results are mediocre right now, but his future still looks great. His contract with Yamaha runs out at the end of the year and everyone’s sniffing around. Ducati still need someone who can actually win a championship. Honda’s octochamp Marquez is as fragile as the glass in the window that he snapped his arm off whilst opening. And Fabio must be looking at this year’s excellent Suzuki bikes and thinking he could surely win another title on one of those babies, joining the elite group of non-Marquez riders who have won championships with different manufacturers. Of course, Yamaha may still hold onto Fabio but they’ll need to convince him that they’re going to build a damn sight faster bike. Frenchmen like eating snails, not riding around on them.
It looks like the factory teams will be fighting each other for Fabio’s signature on a legal contract, while the satellite Ducati teams will be fighting each other not to get saddled with Jack’s thumbprint on the back of a Chinese restaurant menu.