Welcome back to One on One, where we pit two MotoGP riders against each other. This time we compare Mandalika racewinner Miguel Oliveira with recently re-crocked Marc Marquez.
Indonesia
The second round of the MotoGP series was held at the brand new and already crumbling circuit of Mandalika. This is situated on a remote island that the government is trying to turn into an expensive tourist resort. Although Indonesia has one of the biggest populations in the world, the only way for Indonesians to get into the track was to become a shaman. (We can fully expect Steve Parrish to appear as a shaman at the British round).
Oliveira versus Marquez
The Portugee and the Spaniard had more or less opposite results at Mandalika. Oliveira won the race while Marquez bagged a DNS after celebrating morning warmup with a 120mph highside that was a humongous crash even by Marc’s lofty standards.
Vision
Oliveira got a great start and took an early lead. This meant that while everyone else was blindly ploughing through a wall of spray, Miguel was the only one who could actually see everything. Marquez went one better than that, though. He was lying in a hospital bed seeing two of everything.
Bikes
Oliveira usually gets beaten by his KTM team-mate Brad Binder, but the South African’s stupid shapeshifter / pole squat device malfunctioned and left him riding around on collapsed suspension to a creditable 8th place. Luckily Miguel’s KTM was fine. The Honda sucked in the wet, but it was even worse in the dry, where Marquez had his big crash. The Japanese team were furious with Michelin for bringing old, wooden tyres. The French tyre maker responded that it serves Honda right for demanding the 800cc rules.
Injuries
Last year, Oliveira had a terrible season due to injury and spent most of the time just wobbling around outside the top ten. He has recovered now, and is looking good for this year. Marquez also had an injury ravaged season last year, but things aren’t any better now. He still gets double vision every time he crashes, or if his mum slaps him upside the head for not doing the hoovering. Someone who crashes as much as Marquez can’t afford to go crosseyed for three months every time he chucks his bike at the scenery. At this rate he’ll only be doing about 3 races a year.
Languages
Oliveira’s native tongue Portuguese is generally considered to be a much nicer sounding version of Spanish. Many people recommend learning the language, so that they can understand what Portuguese waiters are muttering under their breath when you drunkenly yell at them to take away this foreign muck and bring fish and chips. It’s also useful in Brazil, where it helps you to file a police report about the three times you get robbed every day.
Marquez grew up speaking Catalan. Basically, the Catalans couldn’t agree on whether to speak French, Spanish or Italian and just decided to speak all 3 at the same time. It’s useful so you can understand what Catalan waiters are muttering under their breath about customers from Madrid.
The Future
Oliveira’s prospects look good. He’s back to race-winning form and recovered from last season’s injuries. The KTM team are a happy ship (which must help in the wet) after poaching a respected Italian team boss from Primark Ducati to make the Austrian team, uh, less Austrian.
Marquez has gone back to seeing everything twice. Who knows how many races he will miss this time?