Winners
The Shaman
We at MGPN believe in which craft and the occult. How else can you explain the success of James Corden?
The Shaman woman trackside was by far the greatest single event that MotoGP has ever seen.
It was looking like a rained off race. We all knew it. The rain was getting harder and the skies darker. There are very few things more depressing than sat watching the clock for the next FIM announcement that the race will be delayed again. Worse still for any of us who’d said they’d go watch their nephew play football later that morning.
But in the darkest moment a true hero stepped up. She then sat down – right in the middle of the track. From there she seemed to be washing up a bowl (hopefully she didn’t leave the iron on) and then stood up confidently. She then gave the signal to the fans and the world that the rain would be gone in ten minutes.
And it was. This woman was the Indonesian Shaman
The single greatest moment in MotoGP history that stopped us dying a boring death on the sofa like that time the British GP was cancelled after listening to 8 painful hours of James Toseland banging on about how he’s a real rock musician and crying because people attacked Rossi on social media.
She should be awarded with a title.
Miguel Oliveira
It’s hard to understand Oliveira. Will he be terrible? Will he win the race by miles? Will his sister like the ring he bought her? There were absolutely no signs through the weekend that the Portuguese rider would win the race – in fact there have been very few signs that Miguel would win a race in the last 12 months.
A brilliant ride. But the big question is is Miguel the new Random Number Generator? (MRNG)
KTM
For reasons I can’t quite work out KTM now lead the Teams and Constructors championship on a bike that appeared to be the worst.
Proving once again nothing bad ever comes out of Austria.
Fabio Quartarararo
The bizarre tyre situation (see below) and a slower circuit was enough for fab Fab to show us why he’s world champion. With hardly any beefing about top speed the cheese-loving Yamaha rider was quick all weekend and easily bagged pole on Saturday afternoon whilst we all slept.
Sunday, however, was where he really shone when the sun didn’t shine. The Yamaha’s not a renowned bike in the wet and Fabio doesn’t regard himself as a wet weather rider. Despite this he pulled off a superb second place far ahead of his teammate.
A world champion style ride. French too.
Yamaha
After a dreadful opening weekend in Qatar Yamaha found Indonesia would prove to be the perfect circuit for them. Not the layout though – but instead because of its construction Michelin were so worried that they brought their 2018 tyres for the riders. This coincided nicely with the fact that Yamaha haven’t really bothered updating their bike for the last two years (thinking they could get away with it on blaming Covid).
The remarkable upshot was Yamaha’s vintage bike worked perfectly with the retro tyres and their world champion Fabio was flying all weekend.
Darryn Binder
We at MotoGPNews have always rated young Darryn and have said from the start that he deserves his place on the MotoGP grid. Other lesser news outlets may have questioned why a rider prone to falling off, knocking others off and not actually been very good should ever be given a MotoGP ride whilst there are hundreds of clearly more talented riders available. But not us. We never said that.
Divebomb Darryn proved us right, again, by almost winning the furious ‘best of the rest’ group battle for 8th place that was eventually won by his far better brother. But his 10th place finish on his crappy Yamaha was still impressive as he finished just over ten seconds behind the Francoverated Morbidelli on the factory Yamaha.
More importantly he also finished ahead of his highly experienced teammate Andrea Dovizioso who was forced to retire due to water in his gizzard valve.
Losers
Marc Marquez
Imagine you had to make the perfect slice of toast for Sunday afternoon in a toaster you’d never used before. A sensible person would start on a low setting and gradually increase it until happy. Marquez, however, would find the limit by burning it to a crisp on Saturday. Then, once the smoke-alarms had stopped going off by frantically waving a tea-towel at them, he’d turn down the setting slightly and have another go to see if it burnt to a crisp again. The long-term plan is by Sunday afternoon he’d found the limit of the toaster.
This is kind of where the analogy, like Marquez, falls to bits a bit.
The old Marc would find the limit by falling off a lot until he realised how fast he couldn’t go around every corner. A daring strategy welcomed by Honda’s 3rd party carbon fibre provider. But things have changed…mainly Marquez’s 75% ruined body.
Where he used to get up before he’s now staying down. Bones are breaking, he’s getting dizzy and his dodgy peeper keeps falling out. He’s gone from super-reliable to out-of-warranty Bimota.
A huge highside on Sunday morning saw the elder Marquez land on his noggin much to the delight and merriment of the Rossi fans who have stayed around to hopefully watch him fail. He was concussed to the point that he’d forgotten if he’s been concussed before so was deemed unfit to race.
Worse still the wet race was the ideal setting for him to win.
Honda
In the past having no Marc Marquez usually meant a terrible weekend for Honda. But, having learnt this sword-falling embarrassing lesson painfully, this season the evil HRC decided to build a bike that more than one person could ride.
The problem now seems to be it’s a bike that everyone can ride but not quite as fast as one built specifically for Marc Marquez….including by Marc himself. Worse still the noodle-crunchers over at HRC had designed their bike for the 2022 spec tyres…only for Michelin to turn up with some old tyres from 2018 for ‘safety reasons’ – and not because they couldn’t shift them on eBay. This left all the Honda riders struggling on track and all the Honda officials struggling to stay contained.
It wasn’t just MotoGP though – In fact it was a pretty horrific weekend in general for the lawnmower company:
- F1: three engine failures out of four cars – two whilst in podium positions
- Indycar: two critical engine failures and a Chevrolet 1-2.
- IMSA: No podium in a 6 car race
- WEC: Did not enter as they can’t build a chassis
But at least Honda Asia won the Moto2 race…on a Triumph.
Indonesia
The delightful folk of Indonesia love MotoGP and have patiently waited for many moons to experience the thrill of the sport. Thousands poured onto the streets to watch a parade on the Thursday as they hoped to catch a glimpse of the riders. It’s a magical place where even Bradley Smith might be asked for his autograph eventually.
Sadly though on race day the grandstands were empty. Why? Because the ticket prices were ridiculous for the locals. Absolutely nonsensical.
Worse still, for those fans who had sold their house, children and left kidneys to get in they were treated to all races shortened by a third as the officials weren’t sure if the tarmac would last long enough.
Luckily there’s just time to have some more babies quick before next year’s race.
Remy Gardener
MotoGP is hard. And all the cute ‘surfer boy’ logos and ‘cool dude’ attitudes in the world isn’t ever going to change that. Today’s race was a reality shot for the Australian. Last finisher, 15 seconds behind his teammate and almost a minute behind the race winner also on a KTM.
Welcome to MotoGP.