The great Rossi survey part 2 is here!
We asked – you told us! And in all fairness we’d probably not have bothered if we knew how much work was involved.
Here’s Part 2 of the survey covering everything else about our favourite noodle-armed weathervane.
Click here for Part 1
How many hastily-written Valentino Rossi books containing no new information do you plan to buy?
None. But i reckon Matt Oxley will be milking this goat for a long time to come. (46%)
Sorry Matt, I didn’t write this. However ‘milking this goat’ is a really clever play on words and far better than anything we could have come up with.
Only ones that have a forward by Bradley Smith (13%)
We’re also waiting for the Smith autobiography pamphlet.
Wouldn’t waste my money (12%)
There will be nothing in them that’s not covered in this survey.
All of them (10%)
Time to order that new extension you’ve been dreaming of Matt…
Stfu (5%)
Blimey
Reading’s for losers (5%)
Agreed. We never proof-read our stuff
I don’t intend on adding to my total of 1 for now (4%)
The Carl Fogarty biography?
46 (4%)
Fitting but not overly practical.
Who’s on the glossy cover? (1%)
Hopefully not Uccio
What was Rossi’s best overtake?
Corkscrew Laguna on Stoner (28%)
It was the pass that made history and upset Stoner beyond all comprehension – so much so that it made him fall off a few laps later. In a season that Casey was dominating this race, and this pass, was a stand-out moment that wasn’t a borefest.
Sadly though the icing was slightly licked off the cake for Rossi in 2013 when Marc Marquez pulled off a similar move this time on the Doctor.
Biaggi, Suzuka with middle finger (22%)
The good old days before the Woke Society got involved and became offended by everything.
When he kicked Marquez of the bike in Sepang (19%)
Never touched him.
That one on Lorenzo in Spain that everyone bangs on about (17%)
Poor Jorge must love this footage being dragged up every race at Catalunya.
That one he nerfed off Gibbers (9%)
Still laughing now
All that Ducati money (3%)
Not really sure what this means…
Marquez, last corner Assen TT 2017 (2%)
You sure about that? We seem to think it was turn 1 in 2017 sometime mid-race?
Who did you most like to see getting beaten by Valentino?
This question could just have also being: “Rossi fans – which rider do you hate the most?” So here’s the results…
Marquez (26%)
The most hated of the hated…
Lorenzo (16%)
Gibbers (11%)
Stoner (11%)
Biaggi (11%)
Yamaha Inc. (6%)
Alfonzo, the yellow snail (6%)
Nobody (6%)
Jose Luis Cardoso (2%)
Alberto Puig in the interview room (2%)
U (1%)
Pedrosa (1%)
If Uccio was your personal assistant, what would be his main duty?
Completing surveys on MOTOGPNEWS (19%)
Tell me about it. This very survey seemed like a good idea at the time but has rapidly become a chore – to the point we had to break into two parts so we could enjoy Christmas.
Sterilizing the circuit bathrooms (13%)
Moving on…
Staying away from the canteen (13%)
He’d quit
Sending hate mail to Marquez (12%)
Oh…that could almost be a new MGPN feature…
Baking pizzas (10%)
Narr…he’d eat the raw dough
Fist pumping when people watching (8%)
Pretty good at that
I don’t need no stinkin’ assistant! (6%)
Not even an annoying, well-rounded one?
Checking food isn’t poisoned (5%)
But we’d need some left?
Being an annoying bastard (4%)
Legendary status already achieved…
Cleaning my toilet with his tongue (3%)
Moving on again…
Gtg outta here (2%)
Err…okay
Locate Martin Richardson on Facebook and then block him (2%)
Last seen somewhere in Beeston I heard…
Calling in sick (1%)
Stomach pains?
Getaway driver. (1%)
Power-to-weight ratio might be an issue?
Getting into Rossi’s accounts for me (1%)
Oh us too…
If you were Valentino, how would you help Uccio to lose weight?
Rossi’s a legend not a miracle worker (57%)
Too true.
Pull the XXXL sizes from the merchandise range (19%)
But then he might just not wear a top? Dear God…
Beating him (9%)
You have to be cruel to be kind
Sowing his gob shut (6%)
Describing the long term health risks of being overweight (6%)
Finally, a sensible answer. (Wonder what it’s doing here?)
“Accept me as I AM!” (3%)
Never!!
Should the colour yellow be retired from MotoGP when Vale retires?
No, that’s stupid (26%)
We’re not sure. Yellow is a pretty terrible colour. Only a few hue-degrees away from brown we’d say.
It should be retired and anyone wearing yellow should be shot as soon as they enter the car park. Like squid games (23%)
Might prove dangerous for the hi-vis clad parking wardens…but still worth a shot – so to speak.
Yes, obviously (14%)
Agreed.
I’m colour blind and offended by this question (13%)
Interesting fact that 13% of MGPN readers are irritable canines.
Yes, because it’s an awful color (13%)
It is, as stated above…
It’s great with piss stains (7%)
…although…
You mean the Coldplay song “they were all Yellow?” (4%)
What’s the worst thing about being a Coldplay fan? Telling your parents you’re gay.
What’s the best way to make apple crumble? Remind her that her mum’s Gwynneth Paltrow and her dad’s in Coldplay.
What could Rossi have done better in his career?
Everything on the Ducati (30%)
A harsh but true assessment. It was to be the dream combination – the most famous Italian rider ever on the most famous Italian bike ever. Sadly it was like putting macaroni cheese on a Hawaiian pizza. The ‘dream team’ pairing could only manage a couple of random podiums in two long and agonising years. After that they got divorced and Rossi went back to his ex.
BTW: We’re now warming to the macaroni cheese on a Hawaiian pizza idea…
Known when to retire (20%)
Yeah probably true too
Removed Uccio’s pit pass (16%)
Even more true…
Stoppies (7%)
Rossi was always great at wheelies but he failed to move with the times as the TikTok generation all started to like stoppies more.
Beat up Biaggi more times (7%)
There’s still time hopefully
In order to save weight, Rossi should have shaved his head for the race in Estoril in 2006 and perhaps not lost by 0.002s if he weighed just a tiny bit less (6%)
A thoroughly well researched answer.
Win more races (5%)
What was he thinking?
Not much. (5%)
One more season on the latest Ducati. (2%)
Please no
Better wheelies (1%)
We thought he was okay
Beaten some real riders like Eddie Lawson, Wayne Rainey or Mick Doohan (1%)
Agreed. What a wimp.
What was Rossi’s best win?
Who cares (26%)
With so many annoying questions it seems by this point tempers were on the rise as patience was wearing thin…we feel you. But in fairness to the question Rossi had some amazing wins so let’s conveniently overlook this angry answer and go straight onto the second top answer…
2004 South African GP (21%)
One of the greatest wins in the MotoGP era. Up until 2004 Yamaha had generally been vastly inferior to Honda…and especially to Rossi on the Honda. When the Italian moved to Yamaha the evil Honda top noodles mocked the move claiming it was their bike that had made Rossi the champion he was.
But the smirk was wiped from their gawping beansprouts in the opening race of 2004 when Rossi, on the dog Yamaha, snatched an impossible victory from a shellshocked Biaggi on the evil HRC machine.
Rossi went on to take the championship, Honda were humiliated and Biaggi’s MotoGP was over…
2009 Catalan GP (9%)
2003 Australian GP (9%)
Making it to 42 and finishing 10th in his last race. (8%)
2017 Dutch TT (7%)
2000 British GP (5%)
2008 United States GP (5%)
Making Biaggi look like the arrogant prick he is (3%)
That time he beat Luca Rosschumacher at the go-kart track in Luxembourg (2%)
2003 Phillip Island (2%)
2015 Dutch TT (1%)
2007 Dutch TT (1%)