The world is a difference place than what it was two years ago. But even by 2021’s bizarre standard two anomalies stood out like Jack Miller at a Mensa conference:
- Cal Crutchlow was the MotoGP rider that crashed the least
- The F1 finale in Abu Dhabi was exciting
12 months ago no person who was allowed to roam free would have said either of these things would have ever happened. Because both are too farfetched even for a Netflix series. But both? Has Covid given us shared waking experiences?
But which is the most unbelievable? Which is so ridiculous you can only explain it with the Mandela Effect?
Option 1: Cal Crutchlow was the MotoGP rider that crashed the least
Poor Cal has spent more time in A&E that more than 12 hospitals around the globe have a wing named after him. In some of the poorest villages in Africa they still have whip-rounds for the Englishman as they feel sorry for him.
This year Crutchlow was supposed to be sat at home but was called in by Yamaha to first replace the disgraced Maverick Vinales then the work-shy Franky Morbidelli. In all the majority-titanium ex-rider rode in four MotoGP races and scored no points – which was somehow still more than Bradley Smith could have managed.
But it wasn’t until the end of year stats came out that we saw this:
It’s no surprise to see Marc Marquez at the very top of the list – a rider that statistically crashes more than he rides and a rider that enjoys it to a point he often takes his work home with him.
But Crutchlow at the bottom? The last time we were so shocked with a stat was back in the early 80’s when we found out that the little black kid from ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ was actually in his mid 40s. But it’s true – Cal was the least crashing MotoGP rider in 2021.
He rode in four events and didn’t fall off ever.
Option 2: The F1 finale in Abu Dhabi was exciting
Formula One isn’t usually exciting. Formula One at the Yas Marina circuit is never exciting. Fun-hating Kraut Hermann ‘die German’ Tilke designed the track to promote his architecture firm at the complete expense of having any interesting racing. Indeed until last week the most interesting thing ever to happen here in F1 wasn’t even in F1 but in a Porsche SuperCup race when a rogue millionaire’s Keffiyeh became dislodged and blew onto the track almost causing a full safety car.
So as usual F1 turned up at the Abu Dhabi track expecting another dull parade. But, unusually for F1, the title battle was still raging with the vegan-crackbot Lewis Hamilton tied on points with Max Verstappen – who’s already F1’s most ugliest driver (including Niki Lauda post Nürburgring).
Whichever driver finished above the other one would take the F1 crown. It meant fans would have to stay awake for at least the first lap to see who won the championship.
Weirdly the race ended up being quite entertaining with Hamilton’s Mercedes eventually pulling out a decent lead over the Dutch-eyesore. But then with five laps remaining a safety car was called out after a crash and the field were bunched up. Crucially Verstappen headed to the pits to put on some fresh tyres whilst poo-shy Hamilton stayed out presumably to wave his BLM flag in our faces.
Hamilton’s pace would be no match for Max’s with fresh tyres but vitally there were several lapped backmarkers between the pairing. With the laps ticking away it became obvious that by the time they’d cleared up the crash that caused the safety car there would be only one lap remaining.
So what happened?
According to the rules race director Michael Masi now had two choices: Let the unlapped cars through and send them around the track to the back of the grid. The problem with this is that it would take several laps and the race would finish behind the safety car before it could be restarted.
Option 2 was to leave the lapped cars that stood between Verstappen and Hamilton and let them race for the last lap. The problem with this is there was no way the ugly Dutchman could pass five backmarkers fast enough to catch Hamilton and hopefully crash into him – sending him or ideally both drivers straight to the local hospital.
So what did Masi do?
Michael, like most people, clearly doesn’t like Hamilton very much. Probably made worse by his dubious dress sense and wannabe rapper image. So the race director went with option 3 – let the cars between Lewis and Max through and sent on their way but start the race before they’d even made it around – basically screwing Mercedes by changing the rules mid-race.
With Verstappen on better tyres the sulking Englishman was easy prey and the Redbull driver overtook Hamilton to take the win and the championship.
It was a bitter sweet moment as we all had a good laugh at Hamilton being purposefully screwed over but had to then suffer the mass of intolerable Dutch fans who up until 2018 thought Formula One was a type of clog.
But the race kept us gripped to the final corner. How could this ever be?
So what do you think the weirdest thing about 2021 was? Vote now!