Marc Marquez has been ruled out of the Algarve GP after supposedly being concussed in a motocross training crash, but what REALLY happened?
MotoGP riders take huge risks to ride their 300bhp, 220mph bikes in practise, qualifying and races. We all understand and respect that. But sometimes they get hurt in between race weekends. And they always, always, always claim that they were hurt while training on a motocross bike. But what really happened to Marc Marquez?
Most likely options:
Opening another window
When Marquez crashed and snapped his arm in half, he claimed he would be back almost immediately. But he wasn’t back for months and months. When he eventually reappeared, he claimed that his arm had snapped off again when he was opening a window. The reason why he was opening that window is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if he was trying to air out the room after he did a pungent, garlicky chorizo fart or if he was attempting to evacuate the fumes of his brother doing a pungent, garlicky chorizo fart. Did he open another window, snap his arm off again and claim that he had been concussed in a motocross crash?
Flushing another toilet
Those in the know claim that Marc didn’t snap his arm off opening a window at all. They say he snapped his arm off while repeatedly trying to flush away a “floater” that he squeezed out after eating one too many fat-enriched bowls of paella de burro.
Slapping a Rossi fan
There are three answers to the question, “What is the square root of the number one?” (One, minus one, and Jack Miller’s IQ). There are two answers to the question, “Who are the biggest idiots in MotoGP?” (Marquez Muppets and Rossi Muppets).
If Marc slapped a yellow-clad Rossi fan he would have been immediately slapped back, and this may have concussed him.
A motocross crash
As crazy as it sounds, MotoGP riders really do like to ride motocross bikes in training. And they’re properly rubbish at it so they nearly always hurt themselves. Marc may have genuinely crashed a motocross bike and concussed himself.
Struck by lightning
Obviously, God is a Valentino Rossi fan (well, nearly everyone else is, so why not?) Did the all-knowing entity who overlooks all of us (especially Texans and Italians) strike the evil Spanish octo-champion down with a lightning bolt just to remind him that Rossi has one more world title than him?