Spanish antichrist Marc Marquez will take no part in this weekend’s Portuguese GP after falling off his motocross bike and banging his bonce.
The accident happened on Saturday when Marc decided to pull off the cliché MotoGP accident and injure himself training off-road.
“He was giving it the full berries Geoff Duke style” explained one eyewitness. “But he momentarily lost concentration – maybe because he was thinking about Colin Edwards in drag pushing a donkey off a tower? I know I was. Whatever the reason he hit an EU-funded olive tree and fell hard on his napper.”
Marquez was taken to the local hospital where, after ordering the ‘light vegan’ lunch option, it was decided by top medical staff that he clearly had concussion.
“We expect Marc to make a full a recovery” Honda stated on their social media feed “With him ordering from the ‘Carne Grande’ menu option very soon. However given he’s currently the only thing standing between us and complete dishonoured embarrassment we must do everything we can to protect him – unlike Pol or that German guy.”
Stepping in to replace Marc this weekend once again will be evil Honda’s usual stand-in schnitzel Stefan Bradl. Stefan will be hoping to show false-promise in FP1 resulting in delighted commentators who’ll praise him – only for the German to slip to the very back of the timings by the end of Saturday afternoon.