After the Leathergate scandal involving Fabio Quartarararo at Barcelona, the FIM has decided to clarify the rules on unzipped leathers in MotoGP. We bring you the new section that they have added to the rulebook.
Unzipped Leathers
On the grid
Riders are permitted to have their leathers unzipped until the 5 minute board is shown.
After the 5 minute board has been shown, riders may keep their leathers unzipped provided that they are holding AT LEAST TWO of the following objects in their hands:
- cigarette
- marijuana cigarette
- partially consumed pint of ale or lager
- Miss World contestant
Fragrance
At all times while leathers are unzipped, there must be an eye-watering stench of either:
- Old Spice OR
- Brut OR
- Any other homologated 1970s aftershave product
Refuelling
Bikes may be refuelled on the grid while a rider has his leathers unzipped, provided that the rider is BOTH:
- sitting astride the bike at the time AND
- nonchalantly smoking a cigarette
Penalties
Before the race starts
In the event of a rider breaching the rules on unzipped leathers before the race starts, the penalty shall be as follows:
- A group of mechanics shall remove the wheel nuts from the offending rider’s motorhome.
- The wheel nuts shall be placed into the hubcaps, and the hubcaps replaced upon the wheels.
- This punishment is to be carried out between the hours of 0200 and 0400.
- The mechanics shall carry out the punishment while swigging from cans or bottles of lager and giggling.
- At regular intervals, the mechanics shall loudly shush and advise each other to keep the bloody noise down.
- At least 50% of the mechanics shall be Australian.
During the race
In the event of the rider’s leathers being unzipped during the race, the penalty should be as follows:
- The rider shall be black flagged. (Duh!!!)