Ducati
Ducati win again now we’ve ditched Dovi!
Ducati riders Jack Miller and Johann Zarco scored an impressive first and second place at the French GP.
Luigi Dall’Igna (Ducati Corse General Manager)
“We knew Jack would excel in these mixed conditions – the type of conditions where he doesn’t understand the risks so just rides around and full speed.
Johann also had a fine race. He was looking good for the win towards the end of the race but as he’s not on a factory bike we were able to remotely turn down the power slightly to ensure he knew his place.”
Yamaha
Quartararo takes gutsy third place in tricky French GP
Bath-shy Monster Energy Yamaha Yamaha star Fabio Quartararo moved to the top of the MotoGP world championship table thanks to a solid third place in tricky conditions.
Massimo Meregalli (Team Director)
“Obviously we were concerned that Fabio’s arse might fall out like it did towards the end of last year. With the wet weather coming we able to alert the FIA that someone from Ducati was planning on throwing a bar of soap at Fabio to scare him off. His result was a welcome surprise.
Not a surprise, however, was to see Maverick fall to pieces again. We were confident this was going to happen as he’d topped the timesheet in the Jerez test last week – a sure sign his race pace was buggered.
Not really sure what crybaby Morbidelli’s beefing about all the time. If he wants a 2021 bike then he should ask his mentor/manager….I’m sure he’ll know where there’s a 2021 factory spec Yamaha that’s not being used to its full potential.”
KTM
Petrucci excites Tech3 KTM factory racing with top 5 finish
Big boned Tech3 KTM gastropod Danilo Petrucci avoided being fired for a week or so after splashing out a strong 5th place finish on our ‘once-good’ bike.
Mike Leitner (Red Bull KTM Race Manager)
“With his extra collapsed-star mass the team and Danilo felt sure his inbuilt extra mechanical downforce would benefit these slippery conditions. His fifth place was a great result but let’s face it he’s only bought himself a bit more time.
As for the rest of them – what a waste of dirty Redbull money they were today”
Honda
Body’s pile up in Tokyo Harbour as evil HRC once again are dishonoured.
Evil HRC once more had to suffer the humiliation of being nowhere near the podium at the end of the French GP. It looked like a few of our staff members would survive being forced to fall on their swords voluntary after Marc Marquez led the race. Sadly for Marc, and the relatives of those newly added to the harbour, the Spanish rider fell off whilst leading…and then he fell off again trying to catch Rossi back up.
Alberto Puig (Team Manager)
“The French GP once again highlighted that fact that the RCV212 is actually just a rubbish bike with a fancy name. They should stick to lawnmowers”
Aprilia
No points for Aprilia – just like the good old days
Team Aprilia suffered an annoying ‘return to form’ after both bikes blew their gizzards out on the same corner at the French GP. The double DNF meant the team failed to score any points just like the days when Bradley Smith was riding for us.
Romano Albesiano
“Not sure Andrea’s input on how to improve the engine was actually that useful”
Suzuki
Suzuki search for positives from French GP as both riders fall off like chumps
The tricky conditions at Le Mans caught out both Suzuki riders with Alex Rins managing to beat his personal best and crash out twice in the same race. It was Team Suzuki Ecstar’s most challenging day in MotoGP since Kevin Schwantz tried to sneak into the Circuit of Americas claiming he was on our guest list.
Shinichi Sahara (Project Leader and Team Director)
“Not sure what there is to say about today to be honest.
Obviously we were expecting Alex to fall off like usual. We told him before the race that after his recent results we wouldn’t tolerate a single crash in the race – so he crashed twice. Thank god he didn’t come back earlier and catch me talking to Morbidelli’s manager.
Unlike Alex we weren’t really expecting Joan to also crash. He’s usually the one watching his teammate spill after the race and laughing. This time he just sat in the corner with a right face on him occasionally reminding us that he’s still the world champion and would have been even if Marc hadn’t had been injured”